Tears, Grief & Letting Go

Written by: Sita ter Horst      |      16 september 2024

I have been on the other side of the world now for five months. And I am here to stay.

I am encountering more than I could ever have imagined and I am grateful for it.. But gosh, what a ride!

I am deeply letting go on many levels and in many ways, of people, places, ways of being and in a way - roots - whilst also growing new ones at the same time.

The tears flow freely in grief and yet thankfulness for all that I am letting go of in Europe right now..

All the beautiful connections, the beautiful beings that I cherish, out of reach physically, but not out of heart.

Even though I know that the bestest of friends and dearest of connections will stay - long elaborate voice messages, calls, photos and videos are shared with those ones who stay close to my heart - and even though the love is just as limitless and infinite now that I find myself all those thousands of kilometres away, I still feel the aching difference between having them close in physicality.

And not only that - but a whole part of my life that I had set up in Europe - the community and network, both in Portugal as in the Netherlands that I had grown to fully feel at home in, is now so far away, and it is dawning on me how much I had created there over the years. 

In my home here I find solace, with my partner, my sister and brother in law and my niece closeby.

Yet my heart also aches for that which I left. And it is time to give it space, to allow the tears and to grieve.

 Letting go and grieving for what we leave behind, is an important part of being able to fully step into a new cycle of creation and building. But it isn't linear either. Every wave is a new one that crashes on the shore - either with intense force, or a soft rumble - followed by still waters in between in which we get to rest, root down, ground and build on foundations.

Grieving goes in between life, through life - it is part of life. And at times, it asks for attention to be fully seen in all her glory, and at other times she's just there silently in the background, humming and being.

I don't recall where I read it or if someone shared this with me, but I can fully agree that:
Grief is love in a different form.

When we grieve for someone or something we have lost, we are actually tapping into the unconditional and infinite love that we hold for it, him or her.

Grief is a portal to love.

So today, I want to say thank you to grief.

May she be my ally, my portal to greater love and stronger foundations than ever before.

I let the tears flow as I let go, and prepare myself to share more yummyness and wonder in what other stirrings I will encounter in the upcoming while.

So.. Stay tuned for more dear ones!

and always feel free to post your comments,
personal shares or stirrings below - I'd love to hear from you!